Grappler showdowns · Superhuman
Pickle vs The Thing
A prehistoric man who hunted dinosaurs bare-handed against a man made of orange rock.
Tale of the tape
| Baki | Universe | Marvel |
|---|---|---|
| Superhuman | Tier | Superhuman |
| Prehistoric strength that dinosaurs could not match | Strength | A rock body and enormous strength |
| Fights on instinct, not technique | Weakness | Slow next to faster fighters |
| 0–1 | Record on Versus | 1–0 |
The Arena
Pickle does not understand modern life, but he understands strong opponents. When the Fantastic Four were called in to investigate strange tracks in the Mojave, Ben Grimm found something waiting at the bottom of a quarry: an enormous, near-naked man crouched on a boulder, sniffing the wind.
Pickle looked at Ben’s rocky orange body and seemed to decide it was a new kind of prey. He roared. Ben cracked his knuckles. “Aw, nuts. It’s clobberin’ time.”
Round One
Pickle hit like a falling cliff. His first blow threw Ben across the quarry and buried him under a landslide of rubble. Ben dug himself out, spitting gravel. “Okay,” he said. “That one I felt.”
Pickle charged again, and this time Ben met him. The two collided like boulders and grappled, rolling across the quarry floor, each trying to pin the other. Pickle bit Ben’s shoulder and chipped a tooth on the rock.
They broke apart and circled each other. Pickle moved like a predator, low and swaying, sniffing the air; Ben moved like a heavyweight boxer, flat-footed and patient. When Pickle sprang again, Ben caught him in a bear hug and slammed him into the quarry wall, which collapsed on top of both of them. They burst out of the rubble still swinging.
The Turn
Pickle was stronger than anything Ben had grappled in a long time, and wilder. He clawed and bit and tore at the rocky hide with the instincts that had brought down dinosaurs, and each blow cracked fragments from Ben’s shoulders.
But Ben has fought the Hulk, and he knows how to wrestle a monster. He kept his head down, absorbed the blows, and waited for Pickle to overcommit.
Pickle seized Ben by the head and drove him face-first into the quarry floor, again and again, like a hunter breaking a shell. Each impact cratered the rock. On the fourth slam, Ben got a hand under himself, pushed up with all his strength, and threw Pickle off over his shoulder.
The Finish
Pickle lunged for one more bite, jaws open, and Ben stepped inside it and threw a right hook that has knocked out gods. It caught Pickle full on the jaw and dropped him like a felled tree.
Pickle tried to rise, swayed, and sat down hard on a boulder, looking dazed and oddly happy, the way an animal looks after a good hunt. He reached out and touched Ben’s rocky arm with curiosity, as if trying to understand it.
Ben sighed and sat down next to him. “Yeah, me too, pal. Nobody gets it.” He shared his sandwich. Pickle ate it, wrapper and all. They watched the desert sunset together while the rest of the team flew in, confused.
The verdict
The Thing wins
Pickle may be the stronger of the two, but his instinctive attacks, biting and clawing, do little to a body made of rock, while Ben has the wrestling experience and the knockout punch to finish it.
- Rock bodyPickle’s tearing attacks barely damage Ben’s hide.
- ExperienceBen has wrestled monsters like the Hulk many times.
- Knockout powerThe Thing’s right hook ends the fight in one blow.
How the rematch could go differently: If Pickle learned to fight with technique, as he does later in his own story, his strength could overwhelm Ben.
Who do you think wins?
Who would win in a fight between Pickle and The Thing?
The Thing wins. Pickle may be the stronger of the two, but his instinctive attacks, biting and clawing, do little to a body made of rock, while Ben has the wrestling experience and the knockout punch to finish it.